Let's Chat... Homeless in Arizona / Covered in Roaches

welcome back to chatty (cass)ie! join cass this week as she dives deep to talk about the summer she spent homeless in phoenix, arizona. she offers some insight on how people end up where they are- and that the type of people who get there might surprise you. listen as cass reminds us all that no matter who you are or where you live, you're a person who is worthy of respect and care. 

Transcript

Back to chatty Cassie the podcast where I don't know what I want to talk about but I'm gonna talk about whatever I want anyway Because that's what I do here. It's like a sleepover. Just online. He um I would like to address that tagline really quick because recently I was listening and by recently I mean like a month or two ago I was listening to a podcast probably just Trish or BCC club I don't know which one and this other girl don't remember the podcast because I was so infuriated was like It's like a sleepover just online and I was like Hey, I've heard that before in my own brain and on my own podcast where I posted this podcast starting in 2020 and There was a brief hiatus where it was off the internet, but I went hard and posted it for like two years No a year and I had international listeners in Across America so many listeners and then I like dropped off because I was like I'm not doing this anymore Took it off the internet because I wasn't paying for it to be on Buzzsprout anymore Then I re-uploaded everything with like this was recorded in 2020. This was recorded in 2021 blah blah blah, and now I'm back While it was gone that little bee took my tagline and I don't know if she heard it or if she in her own brain Thought oh, I just want it to be like a sleepover because that's what I thought and I hate to say that she stole my idea but I also hate to say that my idea wasn't that creative so Could be one of the two if you hear that tagline I came up with it first and that's that Anyway, that's neither here nor there. Welcome back. Like I said, I don't know what I want to talk about I just recorded a whole episode about Jojo Siwa But when I listened it back because normally I don't listen back. I just kind of go. Okay, it's good and I click post To myself, I thought I'm gonna listen this one back just in case and it came off as like such a hater episode that I couldn't do it And like I'm a hater. We all are at your core. Don't lie. Everybody hates things. It's fine But i'm not like actually a hater You know what I mean? Like I don't it's fine like she can do whatever she wants. It's her life So I stopped talking about Jojo Siwa and uh decided not to post it I did save it just in case the one day I want to salvage it and go back and edit it and go through Or something or maybe I will post it if i'm feeling like rogue but no Right now it's in The vault That brings me to Okay okay one time and We'll get back to what I was gonna say before because the yawning thing brings me to when I took the fcat In the fifth grade there was a the reading fcat. There was a there was a story about Yawning and it was all about like how many people yawn and how yawning is contagious And I bet you yawned while reading this and didn't even realize it I bet you're yawning right now blah blah blah blah and every time I yawn I think about that fcat story any other kids um Remember that fcat story that year I couldn't even tell I think that was like 2009 2010 One of the two probably I think 2009 Yeah Yeah, anyway, um So I always think about that when I say yawning before that what was I gonna talk about oh I lost it I couldn't even tell you Okay. Thanks so much now going back to what I was saying the vault. How do we feel about taylor swift the tortured poet's department? It's a flop I'll say it. It's a flop There's like two songs on there that I was like, these are okay But truly, um, I think the woman is like high On the response that she's getting from the world that she's like, yeah, everybody wants to hear my music and it's like Girl, something should say in the drafts And please let jack antonoff out of his cage Because he has made so much music for you that it all sounds the same i'm getting real sick and tired Is anybody else sick and tired Is anybody else here sick and tired Oh I bumped the mic. Sorry if you heard it I got dutch bros today, which is nothing new if you get dutch bros. What do you get? I'm a freeze gal I used to only get hot chocolate, but now i'm a freeze gal I love an annihilator freeze love a tuxedo freeze and if i'm feeling minty i'm a grasshopper freeze gal Today, I got a medium tuxedo freeze because annihilator freezes I reserve for workdays Um because it's like more of a coffee and less of a treat the tuxedo freeze is more of a treat Pardon me while I take a sip. Why don't you go ahead and take a sip? Okay If you don't have a dutch bros near you i'm, sorry, there's two in the orlando area of florida now So good luck with that pals Um everywhere else no Move to the west coast, I guess That oh that's a great topic today I did something that's I Tried to do before You know what? Let's talk about this Uh, this is gonna be a hard chat. Okay Being homeless in arizona I was homeless in arizona. I was couch surfing and uh living out of my car for a while one summer Two summers ago and um, it was rough really sucked how to do some stuff. I didn't want to do in order to Um have a safe place to live for me and my cat
um
And I had a full-time job at the time And I would go to work every day And nobody really gave shit and It really sucked Well, there's more to this, but I kind of just want to talk about how people like villainize homeless people um, but like how I became homeless is really it's a it's a Nuts story, but i'm sure it happens to a lot of people and it just brings me like to the topic of you don't know why people are On the streets or why they're struggling and we're so quick to judge and we're so quick to dismiss them and you know um not want anything to do with them or you know, avoid them or vilify them and Um, sometimes it's your co-worker that shows up to work every day at school and teaches Because that was me So what did I do today that scares me that brought me to this point of the story? So So today I was driving around because every day I become more and more like my father Um, and it's a saturday and I was just moseying around driving around in the neighborhoods and I passed the street where my well I pass it every day to go to work, but um Where the first apartment that I lived in with my ex in phoenix Was um the cockroach infested one cockroach infested apartment number one And normally I don't go down that end of the street Because I don't want to be near that apartment complex, uh at all because the memories are like really tough Um And so i'm like, oh maybe that's gonna be really like upsetting for me But today for whatever reason I was like, I want to drive through and see If the stray cat that I used to pet is still there didn't see him Whomp-whomp Um, but it's hot outside. So he was probably in the shade because that was usually what he did But it was also like two three years ago so, I don't know I went in the apartment complex because the gate was open and um To the building that we lived in and looked up the second floor and was like That was my living room That was my balcony for like a short period of time And it was so weird and I wanted to cry but I like couldn't cry And I just felt so disconnected and it just felt like whatever like weight whatever chain That place had on me had been like broken and normally like I would have felt such intense anxiety where I was like Shaking and upset and like really anxious. But for whatever reason I was like completely at peace totally fine like Drove by had my little moment and was like, huh? How times have changed?
um
Yeah, it was so weird but then that reminds me of like Then we moved to this house things didn't work out between us We broke up and I was homeless because I didn't have anyone out here, you know, like Um how to find well, I wasn't homeless I basically was you know, she was like Someone's moving in at this point and i'm gonna move into the master bedroom again, whether you're there or not And I was like that's not what we agreed on you're insane
um
But that I digress so I found an apartment like super fast When I toured it, it was totally fine looked clean. There was nothing wrong with it Moved in Was there for 24 hours woke up? Went out because it was my birthday um went out to dinner like on a date came back and My mattress my stuff. Um Everything was covered in cockroaches I became covered in cockroaches just like Just imagine like going home and like you sit down on your bed and then you look and you're just like Just covered in cockroaches, um, so that happened to me and I dissolved my lease um, which made me homeless so I had to figure out where to go because I didn't have any other apartments like lined up they had taken like First and last a deposit, you know the whole shebang I got some of my money back, but not all of it. They prorated the like 72 hours that I quote unquote lived there even though I Only slept in there one night and the rest of the days were like me moving in and moving out and like spraying all My shit and like hoping to god that nothing like followed me because they were german roaches um And then I had all of my shit in my car And then I was couch surfing And living in somebody's like spare bedroom and that was an awful situation, too um for a multitude of reasons And then Yeah, I I don't know what to say other than like the instability and not knowing and not having a place that's yours and like Knowing that like you have to find somewhere to go and that the place that you're at could change at any minute because it's a very unstable situation and it's not like your home nothing's a guarantee like you're kind of banking on the kindness of someone or A situation or you know Whatever you have to do to be there Um and so It's tough people tend to just think like oh will they do drugs or they're like mentally ill and that's why they're on the street No, boo Some of us were just covered in cockroaches some of us came to arizona expecting to be with someone for our entire lives and we got the shit beat out of us and then we Um, we're homeless. I don't know Not all of us are The same and I have a home now, you know what I mean? Like and I was never street homeless. Thank god There's you know, there's different levels of being homeless and a lot of people say unhoused or houseless. Um is I'm homeless uh, so Yeah, I was never street homeless. Thank god, but I was living out of my car homeless uh Couchsurfing homeless Doing what I had to do to secure a room homeless kind of thing Which sucked? Um, and it like I said, I had a full-time job But that job like wasn't enough like that money wasn't enough because I was making dog shit money Um, and I think that that might change perspective for some people like a lot of people don't know that about me It's not something I share Um, it's something that I only talk about with people that I really trust or that I really want to like know me and understand me Same thing with my like sobriety journey and how long i've been sober and um all of that stuff. That's just like I don't know, but it felt like time to share like Driving away from The apartment today and feeling like at peace really like Everything had gone like it was so long ago I've never seen the girl again, like i've never run into her We live in opposite ends of the city for all I know like she's gone, you know, we've never kept in contact We haven't spoken. We don't have each other on social media. I don't want to Kind of thing. Um I think my body like finally let it go And I think that's what I was like looking for um But yeah, it just reminded me of like how far i've come in like the struggle that arizona has brought But there's also some really beautiful parts of it Like now I live in this house with two great roommates Have amazing friends You know, um, I love my new job Etc, etc The list goes on I know I it's just like Life is different Things change situations change Don't judge people Please they could be going through something really intense at that moment Um, or they could really need your help And like I said, like I was lucky enough not to be street homeless, but sometimes like You know, I was really close and people You don't like to admit that you're Closer to being homeless than you are to being like really rich or really successful That's where we're at in society and economy Um, and like I had that wake-up call I could have gone home. Sure but I actually couldn't because I couldn't break my teaching contract like there were things like There was no way out Other than to do what I had to do which was like live out of my car and Couchsurf
Um
So, yeah, I don't know I what I want to like I guess I just want to raise awareness for the fact that like people that are on the streets and people that are homeless They're still people um I was still a person And like if you know and love me Then you can extend like the same empathy and sympathy courtesy and grace To someone that you don't know um That's going through the same situation because what makes them different than me? Not a lot, um Really not a lot So do what you can participate in some mutual aid if you can
um
Free Palestine I don't I don't know how to end this on like a light note other than like I really care about you No matter who you are Life is really really tough Um, but we have each other There are resources out there. Um If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, um harm reduction.org is a great place to find resources where you can Assist your loved one in using safely or finding resources to stop using Um as always alcoholics anonymous has meetings you can check them out locally There are online meetings available same with narcotics anonymous um There are plenty of places if you can carry narcan, please carry narcan you can save a life and um Yeah, it's okay to say no to panhandlers. It's also okay to say no to um like mentally ill and house people or unstable and house people or people you just don't feel comfortable with maybe you have trauma or you're Just it's it's a soft situation. You're feeling it out. Whatever I'm not here to say that you like have to love every single homeless person or you have to like give them your money Like no, you never have to do that. Um, but I am saying like could you humanize them, please? just humanize them, please um because it could it's Not it could be that's somebody's kid That's somebody's like best friend. That's somebody's brother or sister cousin aunt uncle Maybe it's somebody's grandma grandpa Like i'm somebody's kid i'm somebody's sister I'm somebody's best friend So yeah food for thought, um love everyone and uh be kind And I hope you all have a very very very very very happy day and a great weekend. I love you um That's really it that's all I have to say i'm really grateful For what I have i'm grateful for the room that I live in and the house that I stay in I'm grateful for my job. I'm grateful for my car and my family and my friends and all of the love I have in my life and all the people I love and the people who love me and Um I think that I have Recovered because I had people Who were there? To love me through that time period And some people who are homeless do not have those people um, so Show a little kindness show a little love That's all Let's chat soon. Bye